Show Appropriate Affection

A few years ago I the opportunity to speak to a large group at an Education Week held at Brigham Young University. The topic was on showing more love and affection in our families. After the presentation I received the following note from one of those who attended the class:

“I am 80 years old, born in Salt Lake City (Utah) into a good pioneer family. My grandmother was the daughter of a prominent bishop but I never heard grandma say the word love. My mother was the second of eight children. I was the second of three. I never saw my mother and father hug or kiss. I was raised during the depression. My father was a traveling salesman. He would sign his letters, “oddles of love” but that was the only time I ever heard or read that word.

My mother died at 97, I visited her every day the last seven years. She never said I love you once, and I never said it to her. Mother had never ever hugged or kissed me. I kissed her casket ---first time. I am the mother of five sons and one mentally handicapped daughter. She is the only on I can hug and kiss.

My husband was very starved for any physical affection too. We never slept together – he took his own life. All of  this I now realize is that I was starved for some physical affection. Keep teaching this message. Thank you! Naomi

Notice how much the lack of affection in Naomi’s home affected her in later life with her marriage and children. Have you been affected by the lack of affection in your parents home? Of course for all I know they are the most loving and affectionate people on earth and you are thinking I’m totally off base. 

What a shame that this lady spent her whole life not being able to receive love and not being able to give love. C. S. Lewis said,  “Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.” Most os us need to do a better job of showing affection to those who mean the most in our lives.

Lessons Learned
When people don’t receive love and affection in their lives it is difficult for them to give it.
Some traditions passed on to us are hard to break even thought we hate them.
When people do not give and receive love and affection it causes deep emotional scars.

Spend time this week expressing love and giving appropriate affection to those who mean the most in your life. 







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